Save the Worst for Last

Yes, it set records in its opening weekend. But there's just no way around it. X-Men: The Last Stand is a bad movie. Or at most, it's not a good one.

Hardcore fans have been screaming bloody murder since fauxteur Brett Ratner was given the director's chair on the final film in a planned trilogy after previous X-Men director Bryan Singer moved on and Layer Cake helmer Matthew Vaughn dropped out. I didn't think one person could do that much damage to an already well established franchise. After all, the Singer films weren't high art, they were just fun and kinda smart. It couldn't possibly be that difficult for someone to just follow their blueprints and reap the artistic rewards, right?

Oh boy was I wrong.

As much as I'd love to, I can't lay all the blame with Ratner. Screenwriters Zak Penn and Simon Kinberg deserve just as much scorn for creating this flavorless dud. It's like no one involved actually saw the first two X-Men films and simply watched the trailers instead. The Last Stand is a collection of empty action scenes interrupted by long stretches of mindless dialogue delivered by characters who have been stripped of the inner lives and extra dimensions carefully cultivated in the previous films. Ratner and his team seem to think there's no reason to further the themes or relationships established in previous films, that all the audience wants are heavy effects and fight scenes (not that they go all out on that front either).

It's not like there wasn't any provocative material to deal with. The movie centers around two big ideas: the discovery of a "cure" for mutants that will turn them into "regular" people and the rebirth of X2 casualty Jean Grey as an out-of-control bad girl dubbed Phoenix. But both plotlines are handled with an absolute minimum of thought or care, they simply exist to move the action along. (The Phoenix storyline is especially botched. Anyone who's seen Goldeneye or the second season of Nip/Tuck knows Famke Janssen can play a great villain, but here she just looks confused most of the time. And you can't blame her.)

The film also kills off several key characters, both literally and metaphorically (by stripping them of their mutant powers), and introduces a slew of new ones. But none of that matters when the approach is so uninspired. Unlike the first two films this X-Men is so inept at juggling its ensemble that everyone begins to feel irrelevant. It helps the movie a little to have good actors like Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Halle Berry and Hugh Jackman (joined by solid newcomers like Kelsey Grammer and Ellen Page) but it hurts when they have nothing to work with. And the baffling presence of the new character Angel, played by Ben Foster, in a handful of scenes can only be explained as some sort of symbolic metaphor for the rest of the film. And that's a very generous reading.

The Last Stand actually works as a reminder of how good Hollywood has become at the sequel game. A lame toss-off like this simply isn't acceptable when we've seen so many big budget sequels that are as good as, if not better than, their predecessors.

This one is so far removed from what came before it that you can't help but believe the studio didn't just want the X-Men trilogy to end, they wanted it to die.

Action hour smackdown

So I was all set to write a cutesy (and hopefully at least slightly insightful) post about how Alias and 24 both close out their fifth seasons tonight, and the differences and similarities the two shows have had over their runs. But then I saw this Canadian website has already done a pretty good job of exactly that.

The relevant points I wanted to make are that both shows were introduced to audiences shortly after 9/11 (24's pilot, which featured an airplane explosion, was even re-edited in the aftermath of that tragedy), both were warmly received by critics and Emmy voters (although neither was an instant ratings smash), both have helped prove the value of TV-on-DVD releases and both have had their share of creative highs and lows.

But the important differences are underlined by the fact that Alias is ending its series run with cellar-dwelling ratings and the general sense that its best days are long gone, while 24 is ending its season with enviable viewership and possibly its most buzzed-about season yet.

If anyone ever considered these two shows to be at odds then it's fair to say Alias won an important battle (it's doubtful that 24 will ever have a season with the depth and complexity of human behavior present in Alias' second season, which incorporated near HBO-level character drama into its spy game storylines) but 24 has long since won the war. Firmly establishing itself in season one as a show where no character is safe (or trustworthy), 24 is genuinely thrilling in a way that series TV almost never is. It's been frequently remarked, and impossible to deny, that a season of 24 is better than most action movies.

While each season of 24 pressed the reset button and set up new challenges, fresh characters and legitimate mortal peril for any series regular not named Kiefer, Alias struggled and floundered as the years wore on, unable to build satisfying arcs and at a loss for what to do with much of its ensemble (including Emmy-worthy talents like Jennifer Garner, Michael Vartan, Victor Garber and Ron Rifkin).

And so I'm anxious—and only a bit apprehensive—to see how Jack Bauer's most brilliant/insane (brilliantly insane? insanely brilliant?) day yet will come to a close.

But I'll have to wait a bit longer to see how Sydney Bristow says goodbye to audiences for good (I'm still a few episodes behind on the current season), hoping that things will be wrapped up in a way that this once-great series deserves, but secure in the belief that a bit more risk-taking would've done the show a world of good.

More desperate than ever...

I've been pretty loyal to Desperate Housewives in its troubled second season. Despite the unavoidable wails of "sophomore slump" in the media (delivered with that sickening relish present in most attacks against massive media sensations) I've found the show to be mostly enjoyable, if not up to the high quality of the first season.

While season one came out of nowhere and stunned everyone with its enormous ratings and creative mix of comedy, drama and mystery, season two has been hit with almost nonstop critical brickbats, has seen lead-out Grey's Anatomy overtake it in ratings and buzz and has been notably less nimble in its genre-hopping tendencies. But I felt the show was settling into a nice groove as a light comedy—with occasional well done "serious" moments—driven by four talented actresses and a solid, if a bit bloated, supporting cast. I still preferred Housewives to the more celebrated Lost, which has had its own second season issues, thanks to the performers and storylines that were more fun than frustrating or repetitive.

At least I felt that way until the last few episodes, "sweeps" installments driven more by Big Events than the strong solid moments—comedic and dramatic—that I still appreciated. And then last night, with a two-hour season finale that was generally miserable, the show fell completely off the cliff.

I'm not quite ready to join the Housewives-haters club (we'll see where they go next season) but I'm now about 99% convinced that this show will never be better than it was in season one and its chances for survival beyond a fourth or fifth season are minimal at best (it really and truly is Ally McBeal on a larger scale). (And it doesn't help that current and former cast members are getting so vocal with their criticisms in a series of USA Today articles: James Denton (and others), Mehcad Brooks and Doug Savant.)

Among the weak developments in the season ender:

-Marcia Cross has been treated alternately wonderfully and terribly by the show this season but her performance has been a consistent highlight (she's fully exploded Bree beyond simple "caricature" into an incredibly complex person). However, she's been vocal about the clear differences she sees between Housewives and her previous TV hit, Melrose Place. Those lines are getting increasingly blurrier, especially with last night's mental hospital visit, and she has to realize it.

-The writers took way too long to confirm what we all pretty much knew anyway: Tom isn't having an affair and Carlos is. Wow.

-The revelation of Tom's "second family" is something that's been floating around online since over a year ago, during the whole "Marcia Cross is a lesbian" tabloid frenzy (as was the long gestating idea of Andrew sleeping with one of Bree's boyfriends). The USA Today article on Savant dealt mostly with this point. Considering they had so long to prepare it’s a shame that the execution was so sloppy. Huffman and Savant are two of the strongest cast members but Kiersten Warren's performance as Tom's other baby mama was immediately off-putting and falls into the show's bizarre penchant for writing guest stars in a broad, trashy way. I'm not looking forward to more screen time for her next season. (And I know it's hard to pay attention to other shows when you're working for one but the writers really should check out what a poor idea it was to give Luke a kid on Gilmore Girls...)

-The Applewhite family storyline came to a conclusion as boring as everything that preceded it. What a waste of Alfre Woodard. I imagine she's at least disappointed, if not outright pissed, with what they gave (or didn't give) her to do. The climax even belonged to Marcia Cross.

-Since USA Today said we'd be seeing the last of six cast members, and the Applewhites won't be returning (#1-3), it seems like we're also done with Paul and Zach Young (#4-5). There really wasn't much use for them anyway, outside of a few amusing scenes with Harriet Harris' Felicia Tillman. Especially since...

-Why the show never played out the father/son story between Mike Delfino and Zach Young is beyond me. And now that Mike appears to be dead (#6) and Zach is gone then I guess that is that. Mike's hit-and-run murder at the hands of mysterious dentist Orson (Kyle MacLachlan) likely sets up the Big Mystery for season 3. During the episode I was excited at the prospect of what seemed like a developing love triangle between Susan, Bree and Orson. That could've been fun. But the shocking death ruins that, especially since...

-The show decides to end the season with a threatened reprisal of the Worst Housewives Storyline Ever. Bree is about to become romantically involved with ANOTHER killer?? Sure, at least this one didn't kill her husband, but COME ON. Even if they try to have fun by twisting this story in a very different direction from what they did with wretched pharmacist George, it still seems like they're back in the same unappealing corner Marc Cherry trapped the show in at the end of last season by killing Rex.

Add to this the minor complaints that the finale was completely free of Nicollette Sheridan's Edie and almost completely free of Richard Burgi's Carl—two of the most enjoyable side characters—and that the great idea of flashbacks to the Housewives' move-in days was pretty much for naught (except ironic juxtapositions with their current situations) and you get a massively disappointing finale. Worlds away from last season's tight, satisfying hour.

Right now I'm still coming from a point of love with my criticisms but that love is turning into frustration and there are an awful lot of interesting looking pilots—many even on ABC—next season...

Fall Schedules: The CW

And for our final new schedule of the week: the brand new network The CW. It looks a lot like The Brady Bunch starring UPN as Mike and The WB as Carol. Sure they had to kill a few kids on the way but now everyone will be happily coexisting… in mediocrity. (Press release here.)

Good move: Launching a new network is confusing enough so even though the debut schedule is deadly dull I think it’s smart to keep as many established shows in place as possible. People can still get their Heaven on Mondays, Gilmores on Tuesdays, Models on Wednesdays and Superboy on Thursdays.

The only significant shift—creating an "urban comedy block" on Sundays—is smart counter-programming for a tough night. And even though slating Everybody Hates Chris at 7 provides a more limited audience it saves the show from having to battle tough family-audience competition at 8 from The Simpsons, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and The Amazing Race.

Bad move: It’s tempting to call the renewal of Veronica Mars a poor decision since the show ranks 23rd in the ratings out of all WB/UPN shows (lower than any scripted show that wasn’t an instant disaster like South Beach or Bedford Diaries). But it will give the network some much needed support from TV critics (and pairing it with Gilmore could help expand its audience, although what sort of creative state the Girls will be in next season is anybody’s guess).

What’s really questionable is pairing the network’s one new drama—Runaway, another of those conspiracy thriller hours—with the back-from-the-dead 7th Heaven. The closest The WB ever came to finding a suitable match for Heaven was with Everwood (which The CW has rather improbably cancelled). Other than the fact that they’re both about families I can’t see any thematic or stylistic parallel between Heaven and Runaway. And Runaway will have the added obstacle of trying to find an audience against Fox’s easier-to-promote conspiracy thriller Vanished (and then 24 in January, if by some miracle Runaway lasts that long) and NBC’s new superhero hour. I know there’s nowhere else for a new show on the schedule (with Supernatural staying put Thursday at 9 and Sunday at 9 being an impossible slot), but why is it there at all?

I’m looking forward to…: The CW only ordered three series—Runaway, Girlfriends spinoff The Game and midseason teen soap Hidden Palms—none of them interesting.

…but not: See above.

What they didn’t pick up: The CW did not order a Nick Lachey/Lindsay Sloane/Lacey Chabert relationship comedy, a Wayne Brady workplace comedy, a teen drama from Aaron Spelling and the widely reported-on Smallville spinoff, Aquaman. Nothing else was even ordered to pilot.

Say goodbye to…: Who’s gonna miss UPN’s: Cuts, Eve, Get This Party Started, Half & Half, Love Inc., One on One, Sex Love and Secrets, and South Beach? Raise your hands! Yeah, I didn’t think so…

The WB’s casualties include: nonstarters The Bedford Diaries, Just Legal, Modern Men, Pepper Dennis, Related and Twins, and placeholders Blue Collar TV, Living With Fran and What I Like About You. Plus the leaving-on-its-own-terms Charmed and sacrificial lamb Everwood (sure to inspire much CW hate mail).

…but not: 7th Heaven, which aired a "series finale" over a week ago but will return for an 11th season anyway (apparently it’s still the most watched show on either WB or UPN, how scary is that?). And Reba, which was renewed for season six despite reports that The CW would cancel the show (which would’ve meant paying a penalty in the neighborhood of $20 million due to a two-year contract between The WB and Reba’s studio, 20th Century Fox Television). Now the network will have to find something to pair Reba with (it’s not gonna fit in on Sundays), or maybe they’ll just run back-to-back episodes for six weeks in that soon-to-be-open post-7th Heaven slot.

Fall Schedules: Fox

Fox’s fall schedule attempts to demonstrate stability, but there’s only so much a network can do when they have to hold off two of their biggest guns—American Idol and 24—until January. (Press release here.)

Good move: For fall Fox has to rely primarily on House and its modest but solid performing Sunday schedule (and hope that fans will return to Prison Break when there’s no prison to break out of in second season). The network really isn’t trying to change up its game very much, just build on what it has and hold its breath until January.

That said it’s wise to pair its best looking new series (hostage negotiator drama Standoff) with its biggest hit (House), even if the new show has to lead off the night.

Bad move: Let’s see… renewing The Loop, hoping Bones develops into something that it never will (i.e. the next House), keeping The OC alive in a vegetative state. Fox has very quietly become the most boring network on TV (yes, even more than CBS). It used to be known for edgy, offbeat shows but the development slates for the past few seasons have been so inspiration-free (a law show titled Justice!?! You have to be kidding!) you have to wonder when exactly braindead zombies took over the network that gave us The Simpsons, The X-Files, Ally McBeal, 24, The Bernie Mac Show, Arrested Development and scores of noble failures (Andy Richter Controls the Universe, Profit, Undeclared, etc.). This is all the more puzzling since Fox President Peter Liguori knows good TV from his days running FX. I guess everyone sells out sometime.

I’m looking forward to…: Only one show really, and it may suck. But Standoff at least has a decent cast (including Ron Livingston and Gina Torres) and sells itself as a Mr. & Mrs. Smith-style look at hostage negotiators. As long as it isn’t too bogged down in procedure it may be interesting (although it's too bad Livingston and Torres aren't paired together as the central couple). Midseason comedy The Winner with The Daily Show’s Rob Corddry at least seems like a good Fox concept, but it’s from the Family Guy creators and has the look of desperate, not smart, comedy.

…but not: Everything else. Even the casts don’t inspire much confidence (although we’ll see who they get to replace Bruno Campos as the lead in The Wedding Album…not that I’ll be watching).

What they didn’t pick up: Hmm, I wonder if any of these shows were any good. Probably not. But I’d rather see a single mom bounty hunter comedy (with The L Word’s Erin Daniels and Annie Potts) and Sean Bean in a criminal underworld drama than most of what made the schedule.

Say goodbye to: Some veterans of better times (Malcolm in the Middle, The Bernie Mac Show, That 70s Show), a bunch of crap from recent seasons (Head Cases, Killer Instinct, Stacked, Free Ride, Reunion), a show that never lived up to its promise (Kitchen Confidential) and one of the best comedies TV has ever seen. Ever. Ever.

Sunny Sundays

With all the announcements of next season's schedules it's easy to forget the broadcast networks will still be up and running this summer (barely). But it's good to know Fox will use some of its valuable airtime to promote cable cousin FX's excellent, but little seen, comedy series It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Beginning June 11 Fox will air three episodes of the show's first season on Sundays at 9:30, hoping to expose the show to a few more people before it returns for a second season on FX June 29 (with new cast member Danny DeVito). (And if Family Guy ever hopes to justify its existence on the planet—beyond inspiring a couple kickass episodes of South Park and keeping Fox alive opposite Desperate Housewives—leading people to this show just might be the thing to do it.)

I don't know which episodes will air, and it will be interesting to see if they run completely uncut (the show mines "edgy" topics like racism, abortion and child molestation for genuine laughs), but it's pretty much guaranteed that these reruns will be better than anything Fox will be airing come September.

More on that tomorrow...

and more on Sunny, hopefully, later next month.

Fall Schedules: CBS

The stable schedule announced today by CBS is worlds apart from what we’ve seen the last two days (full press release here). Four new shows are joining the network’s line-up and only four shows will change timeslots (two of them—How I Met Your Mother and Cold Case—are even staying on the same night). So yes, the C stands for confident.

Good move: The biggest concern for CBS right now is erosion in their current hits, something that may be exacerbated by the same-y feeling of so many of their procedurals. So it’s smart that their new series appear to depart from the CSI formulas but also appear to be good fits with the CBS brand.

And of course the network’s one big move—Without a Trace to Sundays at 10—looks like an excellent call (and gets rid of the unnecessary movie of the week in the process). Even if ABC had left Grey’s Anatomy on the night the appealing, established Trace would’ve been able to make its mark, but with Grey’s out of the picture it’s CBS’ timeslot to lose. Football may win some weeks but Trace should be able to take it on successfully the way CSI: Miami did on Monday nights (and there’s the added benefit that Trace probably won’t even compete with football most weeks on the West coast).

Bad move: Moving an already weakened Amazing Race against Extreme Makeover: Home Edition isn’t encouraging for the globetrotting show’s future but Race should put up some solid demos and contribute to an overall solid lineup.

It’s pretty hard to argue with any of the series CBS ordered, brought back or cancelled. Honestly, we should all be terrified of Les Moonves. First CBS, soon… the world.

I’m looking forward to…: CBS isn’t exactly my network of choice but they’ve actually ordered four pilots I want to see. The Spike Lee-directed, James Woods-starring Shark will have my attention for at least one episode. And I’m very interested in the ensemble heist drama Smith, which brings Ray Liotta and Virginia Madsen to television with a solid supporting cast. The comedy pickup The Class may be no better than How I Met Your Mother but I’ll check it out, ditto disaster drama Jericho (except substitute Invasion for HIMYM).

…but not: Even if they don’t become a part of my schedule I honestly want to see all of these pilots (compared to last season when I only watched a few of the comedies and one of the dramas). Seriously, fear Moonves.

What they didn’t pick up: With only four pickups and three more for midseason there were several shows left out. Among the actors you won’t be seeing on CBS this fall (barring last minute tinkering): Tom Cavanagh, Bobby Cannavale, Johnny Galecki, Sara Rue, Jane Krakowski, Oliver Hudson, Teri Polo and Chris Elliott in their own comedies and dramas starring John Leguizamo, Joshua Jackson, Julia Ormond, Blair Underwood, Mena Suvari and Lena Headey (in a female superhero show that I was hoping would be shipped to The CW, but that doesn’t appear to be happening for the moment).

(And recent Lost victim Cynthia Watros was a co-star in the Cavanagh project, so without that she’ll be free for as many island flashbacks as necessary.)

Say goodbye to: Only four rookies (four is a big number for CBS this year): Courting Alex, Out of Practice, Threshold and Love Monkey. Plus outlasted-their-usefulness comedies Still Standing and Yes Dear.

Fall Schedules: ABC

That A stands for Ambitious as ABC revealed a fall schedule complete with nine spanking new series (five of them scripted hours), plans for another to share a timeslot with an established hit, and a key timeslot change that will probably be the boldest, best scheduling move by any network this year. (Full press release here.)

Good move: Grey's Anatomy. Thursdays. 9 pm. After speculation for what seemed like the entire season that the network would move its biggest gun to Monday nights, ABC decided instead to stake a claim on arguably TV's most important night (and a night they haven't been a player on for years). Unless CBS does something unexpected it appears that Grey's will face off next season with TV's other most successful scripted hour: CSI. It's possible the competition will cause a dent in ratings for both series, but as previous seasons' Friends/Survior and ER/Without a Trace battles have demonstrated there is room on Thursdays for two massive hits. (This move also puts extra pressure on NBC to move its new series Studio 60 out of the 9 pm Thursday crossfire. If the show wasn't dead in the water before....)

Bad move: In a baffling renewal that echoes the mistake of bringing back John Stamos' Jake in Progress last season ABC will stick with the poorly performing What About Brian on Mondays at 10. The network seems to be taking its time in developing a strategy for post-football-era Monday nights, sticking with modest reality shows and a scripted hour that's already failed to entice viewers. Maybe it was a point of pride, because if ABC had cancelled Brian it would've meant death for every single show introduced this season.

Also, an abundance of new series is going to mean big headaches in marketing and promotion, but considering none of this season's new offerings caught on that move was necessary...ABC needs to start building on its blocks ASAP (or else they become a network whose most popular show is hosted by Howie Mandel).

I’m looking forward to…: ABC has had the best crop of pilots for two seasons running but hopefully this year's batch will be closer to the 2004-05 group than last year's (which were generally better pilots than they were series). I’m really looking forward to checking out all of these but the one I want to see first is Six Degrees which has a strong cast (Hope Davis, Campbell Scott, Erika Christensen) and pedigree (producer J.J. Abrams, director Rodrigo Garcia) and gets the plum post-Grey’s slot on Thursday.

…but not: Well I’m looking forward to almost all of ABC’s pilots. I just can’t see Big Day—which follows the events of a single wedding day for an entire season—turning out all that good. In fact one of the more worrisome aspects of most of ABC’s pilots are the "high concepts." There’s a thriller where Taye Diggs wakes up on the same day every episode to try to solve a complex murder case (Day Break, which will occupy Lost's timeslot starting later this year), another conspiracy thriller where two young men are framed as terrorists by a friend (Traveler), a comedy series involving a season long attempt to rob Mick Jagger (Let’s Rob…), a drama following nine strangers united by a bank robbery (The Nine), etc. etc. Maybe it’s about time American television adapted the British model of short seasons and limited runs where these high concepts aren’t stretched beyond their natural lifespans.

What they didn’t pick up: Even with fifteen new series orders there was still quite a bit that ABC rejected, including comedy vehicles for Patricia Heaton, Bonnie Hunt, Kim Cattrall (costarring with Buffy’s Anthony Stewart Head for producer Elton John), Heather Locklear and Alicia Silverstone. Dramas that didn’t make the cut include two more conspiracy thrillers (one with David James Elliott and another with Jesse Bradford) and series with such actors as Dylan McDermott, Kelli Williams, Marcia Gay Harden, Bryan Greenberg, Angie Harmon and Peter Facinelli.

Say goodbye to: Almost everything introduced this season including: Invasion, Freddie, Crumbs, The Evidence, Night Stalker, In Justice, Hot Properties, Emily’s Reasons Why Not, the once promising Commander-in-Chief and the too-good-for-network-TV Sons and Daughters. Also Hope & Faith, Rodney, Jake in Progress, Less Than Perfect… pretty much the only thing leaving ABC’s schedule with some dignity is Alias.

They Know What Boys Like?

There's a lot going on in entertainment right now with summer movies (see Mission: Impossible but not Poseidon), May sweeps with plenty of series and season finales, networks announcing their schedules for next fall, several fantastic new cds in stores, Broadway theater award nominations and the major International film festival just about to start.

But leaving all that alone for the moment I'd like to comment briefly on Maxim magazine's "Hot 100" list, which celebrates the most bodacious women in showbiz for a 18-35 year old male audience (read the press release and full list here).

Eva Longoria is #1 on the list for the second year in a row. And good for her. The top ten is filled with even more obvious choices like Scarlett Johansson, Angelina Jolie, Jessica Alba and Keira Knightley.

And yet browsing the list you learn several interesting things like:

-Nicollette Sheridan (#48) is so much hotter than Brooke Burke (#94), Elisha Cuthbert (#92) and hot cylons Grace Park (#93) and Tricia Helfer (#95)

-Fergie's humps (#36) are significantly hotter than Shakira's hips (#60)

-Mariah Carey (#22) is one of the 25 hottest women around, hotter than Charlize Theron (#25), Mandy Moore (#28), Uma Thurman (#30) and Jaime Pressly (#34)

Uh... say what? And huh?

And as the press release points out:

Notable omissions on this year's list include Britney Spears, new mom Katie Holmes, Jennifer Lopez and Salma Hayek.

I can understand a dip in the respective Hottie Stocks of Spears and Holmes, and we'll leave Lopez alone, but what's justifiable about leaving off SALMA HAYEK in favor of choices like Teri Hatcher (#73) and the Hilton sisters (#38 and 62)?

Of course lists like this are ridiculous, but if you're going to do this, do it right.

Fall Schedules: NBC

Television’s most desperate network unveiled a wacky fall schedule that places most of its new offerings in 9 pm "tentpole" slots (full press release here). I’m not sure what the thinking behind letting unproven shows anchor each weeknight is, but NBC has to do something after placing fourth in the ratings for two seasons running.

Good move: Besides putting Fear Factor out of its misery (and finally giving up on Joey and holding off on the tired The Apprentice until midseason), I don’t see much to cheer in NBC’s announcement. One thing they have going for them next season is Sunday Night Football, which is likely to boost their ratings a bit and provide worry-free counter programming to two of TV’s biggest hits (Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy on ABC, assuming both shows stay put on the night).

Bad move: All these new shows at 9. Why? And putting the heavily hyped Studio 60 (Aaron Sorkin’s TV satire featuring Matthew Perry and Amanda Peet) up against CSI is a risky no-guts-no-glory decision, as is bumping the My Name is Earl/The Office hour to 8 to serve as Studio’s lead-in. Earl and Office are often heralded as NBC’s hottest "hits" (despite the fact they don’t even threaten to hit the top 10) and if momentum is supposed to be on their side moving them around can’t be good. It’s obvious NBC wants to build a two hour block of "buzz TV" on Thursday. I applaud the effort but I wish I could say the same for the execution.

I’m looking forward to…: Studio 60 will get a lot of media attention (but not necessarily viewer interest) for its ballsy swipes at network television—especially when it comes to NBC and Saturday Night Live—but I’ve seen it and I’m not optimistic about where it will go (either creatively or in the ratings).

Since both the high-concept Heroes and half-hour-SNL-satire 30 Rock (yes there are two SNL satires on the same network’s fall schedule…) sound intriguing but could just as easily be disastrous, I’m thinking Kidnapped (with a cast that includes Dana Delany, Jeremy Sisto and Delroy Lindo) could be NBC’s best chance at a fun, successful show. (One problem: there are a lot of conspiracy thrillers in the works for next season and NBC’s won’t be the only one to make it to air, so it better stick out.)

Also, midseason’s Andy Barker, P.I., with Andy Richter playing private detective, just might work.

…but not: Surprisingly, none of NBC’s new series sound unbearable but I’m not sure it’s necessary to bring another seemingly generic sit-com about young people looking for love into the world (unscheduled midseason possibility The Singles Table).

What they didn’t pick up: Not a lot. Several weak sounding comedies (including one starring Jay Mohr) and only one drama (an offbeat hour produced by Conan O’Brien, starring Cary Elwes as a reincarnated corrupt politician).

Say goodbye to: Aforementioned Fear Factor and Joey (you won’t be missed). DOA rookies The Apprentice: Martha Stewart, The Book of Daniel, Conviction, E-Ring, Four Kings, Heist, Inconceivable, Surface, Teachers and Three Wishes. Retiring vets The West Wing and Will & Grace.

S-u-c-c-e-s-s

It's always disappointing to see a good movie flounder at the box office, especially a movie that you just know audiences would really enjoy if they just knew about it. If they only knew they should see it. Akeelah and the Bee finished a disappointing 8th at the weekend box office, just barely cracking $6 million and posting by far the lowest per screen average of the four new wide releases.

A movie this enjoyable is guaranteed to find an audience somewhere, but I recommend seeing it now, don't just wait for DVD. Get in on it early!

Akeelah's simple inspiring story of an 11 year-old inner city girl who sets her sights on competing in the National Spelling Bee isn't the most original tale ever told (although the spelling bee material does give the familiar underdog-sports-story a fresh spin) and the movie does have its share of cheese. But luckily the film can afford the occasional corny moment because it has so much else going for it, most notably the strong central performance of 12 year-old Keke Palmer.

Writer/director Doug Atchison's script may have a few false moments (Akeelah's siblings feel more like stock types—noble military man, gangbanger, single mom—than real people, and the competitive world of spelling bees feels awfully small once the film gets to the national level) but Palmer's performance never wavers. It would be an extraordinary acting achievement for anyone, let alone someone so young and relatively inexperienced.

Palmer is backed up by a very fine cast including Laurence Fishburne and Angela Bassett in their first screen pairing since their Oscar-nominated turns in What's Love Got To Do With It (and even if Bassett seems a tad too buff for an inner city mother, her work is still a strong reminder that this actress deserves better, more frequent, work than she gets). There are also several other winning performances from younger actors including Sahara Garey as Akeelah's best friend, Sean Michael as her spelling rival and, most of all, J.R. Villarreal as her...love interest. Villarreal is more of a typical child actor than the effortlessly natural Palmer but fortunately that suits the role, and the two young actors create the kind of genuine chemistry that actors three times their age often struggle to achieve.

The writing and direction are solid, the performances elevate it to another level and Akeelah is ultimately the kind of movie I'd recommend to anyone. That doesn't necessarily make it great but it does mean it's too good to miss.

That's all folks

So I'm finished with Idol for the season. At least when it comes to writing about it here. I may be finished with watching it too, although I probably will at least sample the performances over the next three weeks. It's not like I didn't expect Paris to be booted this week but now that it actually happened I'm left without a compelling reason to watch.

The show usually sucks me in week after week because I'm curious to see what songs will be selected, who will be good, who will be bad and who ends up going home. But I've also always had a rooting interest in at least one (usually more than one) contestant. (Potentially embarrassing confession: I've voted for all four winners from previous seasons.)

I expect (and frankly hope for) Chris to win. I kinda think Taylor will be with him at the end, but it may be Katharine and either way I don't care. The "best" contestant left, in my opinion, is Elliott but he just doesn't have the all around package that makes for a deserving winner.

The good news is I really expect all of the top five to release albums. I think they're all serious enough, they all have enough fans, and the series-best ratings will help them. Of course if that does happen I only have plans to buy one of them.

It's just too bad that Idol's most watched season has been powered by its least interesting talent yet.