Idolwild

So yeah American Idol is back on the air but I've ignored it here so far because the show didn't really start until this week (you know, when they opened up those phone lines...).

Simon Cowell has already gone on record that this year's top 24 is a little lacking in "amazing singers." Apparently the judges/producers were hoping to emphasize quirky "characters" over "talented singers" this year. Fair enough, since Idol is above all an entertainment show and it's never really produced more than two or three really interesting performers per season anyway. But what's really notable about this year's top 24 is how many of them truly suck.

The top 12 girls were first up in front of America, on Tuesday, and one by one they took the stage... and choked. Only Paris Bennett, Lisa Tucker and Katharine McPhee delivered cringe-free performances (although Melissa McGhee and Kinnik Sky weren’t that bad). Paris, in fact, was quite spectacular. Based on audition footage I had preferred Lisa but Paris’ vocals on "Midnight Train to Georgia" really shocked me (she wasn’t squeaky at all) and she’s a natural born performer (cue second-coming-of-Fantasia references). It’s performers like her who make the show worth watching.

Two girls go home tonight and I’d bet on "classically-trained" but painfully shy Stevie Scott and the truly awful Heather Cox as the two to go. Although the aforementioned Kinnik is probably in trouble as well (even though she was better than most) and Becky O’Donohue needs to hope her status as hottest-girl-on-the-show (boosted by recently resurfaced Maxim photos) buys her another week, because her terrible vocals won’t.

While the girls were pretty lackluster the guys were downright special (as in the Special Olympics). Elliott Yamin appears to be the one true standout, although oddball contestant Taylor Hicks has a decent voice (and unforgettable performance style), Chris Daughtry did the mainstream rock thing credibly and the ludicrously named Ace Young played to his strengths (with a George Michael song ), but he should really cut out that creepy vacant male model posturing. The show already has Ryan Seacrest.

It seems ridiculously obvious that first-to-perform-and-instantly-forgettable Patrick Hall will leave the group tonight but who will join him? Bobby Bennett and Kevin Covais could be saved by the "Vote for the Worst" crowd (and, in Kevin’s case, viewers over the age of 90 with bad hearing, to paraphrase Simon). Gedeon McKinney is also hopelessly bland and could join Patrick on the way out. Basically anyone besides Elliot, Taylor or Chris could go and it would be fine, which only becomes truly terrifying when you realize six of these guys will make the top 12.